It just makes me laugh

Early hours of the morning, I start acting differently
"What's wrong?"
"... Nothing"
"No, what's wrong, tell me"
"... I can't"
"Yes you can, tell me"
This leads to a 3 hour talk, both of us crying
"You know I loved you more than I could ever love her, you know I'll always be vulnerable to you"
"I'm sorry, and I wish there was a way for me to say that where it has more meaning, but you've heard it all before and I can't say it or try and prove it anymore"
"... I know, I'm sorry too"

That night made me think he had a heart, however the past few weeks have proved I was right in what I thought for so long.
I wish for once, he'd tell the truth, because I can't decipher what's a lie and what isn't anymore.

How on earth can you stand up when you clearly have no back bone ?
I want nothing to do with you ever again.

I get the best feeling and my stomach gets knotted up whenever you talk to me
because I know that just for a little while, i was on your mind.
And that little while is enough to make me smile like a kid in a candy store.

Sick little games

Last night, I had this dream.
I was in the middle of the woods, trees everywhere,
the ground had sticks and twigs, the bark on the trees reasonably dark, and the trees had the darkest of leaves.
It was in between sunset and nightfall, that time where its getting dark, but still light enough to see properly, and there's no glare from the sun.
And I was chasing this boy who's name I won't mention.
We were running around, almost playing hide and seek I guess you could say.
He kept running and hiding behind trees so I couldn't see him
and every time I would get close to catching him, he'd run away again.
And it just kept repeating over and over.
The entire time, he was laughing and seeing it as some sort of joke.
At first, I did too, seeing it as some silly game and almost like I enjoyed chasing him,
but towards the end, I was exhausted and was amazingly frustrated in how he kept running whenever I was close
He however, kept going, and kept making me chase him, and look for him, and fight to catch him.

It's a little awkward.

If I like you,
And you like me,
Why the hell are we wasting our time?
Are you too afraid to cross that line?
I’ve been thinking about it

If we're all alone, aren't we in this together?

Don't walk away. lets let them see the mess that we became
Sirens flashing, here's the cops
Don't blame this on not having jobs but dreams
And I see things cause I'm not afraid to think outside the box
And now I'm shaking, I hope I'm making perfect sense
So place your bets to see where I end up
And oh my god this place is so messed up
Rip me apart to see my insides
Compose myself I'm not secure
And don't believe a single thing
That you have heard
Throw my pride into this fire
My confidence is dead, I'm tired
Who's giving up?
I won't burn out, I'll just burn up
And I was raised on excellence
Always taught to look my best
I don't wanna be just anybody
I don't wanna be anything you forget
Villains die and heroes live forever
Tragic endings get remembered
I don't wanna be just anybody
I don't wanna be anything you forget

They won't forget you in the end.

Only you will understand this

I miss you

There, you happy? I said it.
I
miss
you.

Now wipe that shit eating grin off your face.

All The Single Ladies

In away, being single does have its perks. Well I should know, coming up
this november I have offically been 'single' for 2 years, this doesn't include
'seeing someone', whatever the shit that means. I mean without a boyfriend.

And yeah, it does suck and sure it gets me down from time to time. But this
is me trying to point out the good parts to being single, and maybe even
making people realise that being 'alone' isn't that bad.

For starters, you don't have to spend money on anyone but yourself. Just
buy things for you, not on some boy or girl. Sure, no one is going to buy
you nice things, but so what? You've got extra money for yourself. Back in
the day before I had unlimited text messages, I was buying credit for my
phone so often, and therefore spending money on someone else. Then I
became single and wasn't texting him every second of the day. (I then got
a hiptop with unlimited texts. Best plan ever)

You don't have to worry about how you are in the morning. Crazy hair, bad
breath, left over makeup, basically just looking gross. You wake up and
have no one there which sure is lonely, but its better than looking like shit
next to someone. And you don't have to worry about them looking like shit
in the morning either, because they don't even exist.

For girls, and as gross as this may be, come winter time, you don't have to
shave your legs as often, only before an event, or when they just get gross.
But when you go through that prickly stage, no stress, because there's no
one that's going to touch them. Just put on some jeans, leggings, or high
socks.

You don't have to put up with their friends, or worry about what they say to
their friends. I used to feel so awkward meeting their friends and just the
feeling of judgment, and wondering what they're thinking about me and
what they're going to say about me when I'm not there. Or what the
boyfriend would say when I'm not there,things that other people don't need
to know.
Parents fall under this category as well. Meeting the parents is so awkward.
At least I find it to be.

You don't have to answer to anyone. Maybe it was the bad relationship I
was in, but I always found myself having to justify why I did most things.
Can I do things and not have to give reasons why, or really pay any
consequences now?
Yes.
Is it so much more relaxing?
Hell yes.

You get time for other people. This I guess may just be how my last
relationship was, but the only person I really saw for so long was him. I
guess it just felt weird not being around him, plus I kinda felt like I had
to bring him with me everywhere. Now I get time for my friends. And
friends are going to be there for a whole lot longer after he's gone.

When I learn about the other perks of being single I'll let you know.

I pinky promise I'm not disturbed

It's kinda like I want to somehow kid nap you, a way I wouldn't get caught.
I'd then strap you down, so you're lying like a starfish.
I'd burn off ever singly hair on your body, including your eyelashes
I'd slowly rip off all 10 of your fingernails
I'd stick pins in your eyes and ears
I'd make tiny papercuts across your toungeI'd give you a chelsea smile
I'd draw pretty pattens in your skin with a scalple, and then pour a mixture of salt and vinegar all over you.
I'd cut off random fingers and toes
I'd scoop out your bleeding eyeballs
I'd shove a tube up your ass then some cheese and set a rabie infested rodent up there
I'd dig at your belly button with a screwdriver
I'd pull out your teeth with pliers
I'd break your ribs with a mallet
I'd then walk away and leave you there to rot.